Love You Can’t Say

“The kids should be out in five minutes. You could sit over there and take a rest. The sun is dazzling here!” Nathan pointed at the vacant seats under the shade of a tree and spoke to me.

I couldn’t help but speak smilingly, “It’s fine. Five minutes are not that long anyway!” Probably it was the sequela of having a baby, over the years, my body had been particularly prone to soreness.

Nathan smiled and didn’t force it anymore. He just looked at his watch and chitchatted with me, “There will be an expatriate job available in the hotel in a few days, and the salary is relatively high. If you are interested, I will make some calls and arrange it for you.”

I shook my head, “But I can’t go on a business trip and leave Clarie alone at home. She’ll get scared. I am afraid I won’t be a good fit for the job.”

He said with a smile, “I have taken this into consideration for you already. There are barely any expatriate assignments in the hotel now, so it’s rare you’d have to go on business trips. Besides, given that we are short of staff temporarily at the moment, this receptionist job would get one flat salary and an additional allowance for the commune. After all, the HL Area is just a small county, there aren’t as many business trips or reception jobs. So the hotel is only hiring one person to handle all the workload for the two jobs.”

I was stunned for a while, but I was a little indecisive, “How much is the salary?”

“Eight thousand!” After a pause, Nathan said, “You graduated from one of the top universities, and it’d be a waste of talent for you to just be a cleaning lady for the rest of your life. Besides, Clarie is growing up fast, you might need to handle all kinds of potential financial needs along the way. The salary of the cleaning position might not be enough to support both of you in the long term.”

Indeed, after I had left Newton Town, there was not much left in my savings after the purchase of the house and other expenses over the past few years.

Clarie Bear would attend school soon. She was turning five years old. Most of the kids around her age had started to develop their hobbies and interests. I was thinking of enrolling her in a painting class a few days ago.

After thinking about it, I looked at Nathan and said, “Are you sure?”

He nodded, “Positive. I promise!”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

Nathan laughed, “You’re welcome. But if you really want to express your gratitude toward me, you can treat me to a big meal another day!”

“Of course!”

The door to the kindergarten was opened, and the teacher brought the children out class by class. Clarie Bear and Nathan’s son, Joey were in the same class.

The two little guys saw us and smiled brightly.

Clarie Bear looked at me and shouted, “Mommy!” After a pause, she looked up at the teacher and said, “Ms. Zoe, Joey’s daddy, and my mommy are here. We are leaving now, bye!”

With that said, the little guy pulled Joey and ran towards us.

Putting her arms around me, Clarie said in a sweet voice, “Mommy, I invited Joey to join us for dinner tonight. I told him you are an amazing cook!”

After a pause, she lowered her voice and said, “Mama, you won’t disappoint me, right?”

I couldn’t help but laugh, looked at Joey, and said, “Joey, sweetie, would you like to join us for dinner tonight?”

This child was quiet and introverted. He was grabbing on Nathan’s fingers tightly, looking up at the Clarie in my arms, and nodded, “Mhm! Thank you, Ms. Clara!”

“Let’s go then!”

Back in the yard, Clarie and Joey went to the backyard to pick melons, and Nathan drove out to buy some fish.

I was prepping the ingredients in the kitchen in the backyard and I made a fire.

Life had been this way since we moved here. In the past four years, I had been trying to home-make delicious food in a different way for Clarie Bear to eat healthier.

Gradually it had helped me to sharpen my cooking skills. When I finished cleaning the ingredients, Clarie and Joey came back from picking some green vegetables and fruits.

The two little guys each carried a small basket, and Joey’s basket was so full that the melons were about to fall out.

There were only a few beans in the basket Clarie Bear had been carrying, and it seemed that she had just picked them up following Joey.

“Mommy, we are back!” Clarie carried the basket, and there were some mud stains on her face.

Seeing that Joey’s face was full of sweats, I quickly took over the basket from him, wiped the sweats on his forehead, and said dearly, “Sweetie, it’s too heavy. Next time you should ask Clarie to share the load. Don’t carry it alone, okay?”

The little guy smiled, looked at Clarie Bear’s face dotingly, and said in a sweet voice, “Clarie is still young, it’s too heavy for her!”

“That’s right, mama. I don’t even have the strength. So I asked Joey to help me!” Clarie Bear might have picked up the cleverness from Alex.

Glancing at her, I said slightly angrily, “Next time if you don’t help out Joey like this again, I would punish you. You will be watering the plants in the backyard for a month.”

Clarie Bear pouted, “I don’t mind. I will not be doing it by myself anyway.”

I…

Every time Clarie Bear was punished, Joey would come to her rescue. After a while, there seemed to be nothing much I could do about her acting up.

Nathan bought two crucian carp and a lobster.

Clarie Bear was bold. She grabbed a crucian carp in her hand and chased Joey to scare him.

The two children were playing in the yard. Nathan took the basket from my hand and said, “Let me wash some more vegetables. The fish scales were scraped, you can cook it directly.”

I nodded.

The two children, Clarie and Joey, were probably hungry. When they smelled the incense of the cooking food, they gathered near the stove and looked up at me.

“You two little foodies set the tableware and get ready for dinner!” Nathan put down the washed ingredients next to me and said.

Usually, at times like this, Joey would go to get the bowls and chopsticks, and Clarie Bear would still stand by my side and waited.

Nathan took Clarie to the side and smiled, “Clarie Bear, can you please go and bring the washed fruits by the sink to the dining table? Dinner will be ready soon.”

Clarie Bear nodded, looked up at me, and said, “Mommy, hurry up. I’m so hungry!”

I nodded. I served the food on the plates, and Nathan brought them to the table.

Seeing that the two little guys were already waiting at the table, I couldn’t help laughing, “Don’t wait up for me! I am making some soup.”

“Mommy, we are waiting for you!” Clarie Bear said, looking at me expectantly even though she was hungry.

After dinner, Nathan brought Joey to wash the dishes, Clarie Bear and I went out to the yard to pick some more fruits.Property of Nô)(velDr(a)ma.Org.

It was the midsummer season. I had sowed a lot of watermelon seeds in the spring. The year I came to the HL Area, I had bought a few peach trees and planted them by the fence. They bore fruits almost every year.

Clarie Bear carried the basket and picked up the fallen peaches that were still edible. She asked me with a soft voice, “Mommy, do you like Uncle Nathan?”

I laughed, putting the fruit I had picked up into the basket. My finger slid down her nose and I said, “What are you trying to say, baby?”

Clarie Bear pinched her chin, thought for a while, and said, “I was thinking, Mommy, can you make Uncle Nathan my dad?”

I was stunned and froze for a while, and then I looked down at her, “Clarie, do you really want a papa?”

She tilted her head to think for a moment, paused, and said seriously, “Not entirely. But I like Joey. And if you marry Uncle Nathan, I can marry Joey in the future then.”

“You can still marry Joey when you grow up, even if your mama doesn’t marry Uncle Nathan.” There appeared a voice behind Clarie Bear, magnetic and melodious.

I turned back with Clarie Bear. Clarie smiled, and trotted over, “Uncle Alex!”

Holding Clarie in his arms, Alex laughed, “Clarie Bear, if you want a papa, how about you call me papa then?”

Clarie Bear pondered for a moment and said, “But our classmates said that papa is a boy who sleeps in the same bed with mama.”

I…

Alex pouted, looked at me, and said, “Your daughter is amazing – She knows everything.”