Love You Can’t Say

I looked at him and said, “It’s not what you think. Even a casual friend can’t resist checking out someone who looks exactly like him. Besides, I owe him my life.”

He stood up and approached me, his cold breath enveloping me, and he said in a low voice, “What do I think? Do you know what I was thinking?”

I pressed my lips together and unconsciously backed away, but behind me was the cold wall. I couldn’t retreat.

“Dennis, are you mad because I can’t let him go, or do you think I shouldn’t get all worked up over a dead man?”

He sneered, “What do you think?”

I pressed my lips together, knowing he was possessive and domineering. After a pause, I said, “Whatever it was, Hank’s dead, right?”

“But what if it’s not?” He said, “If he were still alive, would you marry him to repay him for saving your life?”

I scowled, feeling he was taking it too seriously. “There is no if.”

As far as I was concerned, Hank was gone, and only guilt and regret remained.

Dennis was in such a mood because he couldn’t accept that my regret for Hank would grow over time.

He looked at me with dark eyes as deep as the sea. For a long time, he pulled his dry lips and sat back in his chair with his long, tall body.Content rights by NôvelDr//ama.Org.

Then he said coldly, “Get out of here!”

His black coat made him even more aloof, and there was a chill in his dark eyes, which showed little emotion.

I tried to say something, but nothing came out.

My eyes fell on his computer, I repressed the pain in my heart and said, “Dennis, I don’t know why you’re so mad at me for someone who’s not in this world anymore. If you think I’m that fickle in your eyes, then we can get a divorce. Relationships between people come to an end anyway. Gathering and parting are normal things. I will not blame you.”

If you couldn’t grasp something, just let it go. Either we parted while we were alive or death did us part.

I’d rather live than die, at least if we could both live.

There was a cold gleam in his eyes. He lifted his hand and swept the computer and debris on the floor, smashing them to pieces.

“Getting a divorce?” His thin lips in ridiculous curves, “Clara, what does this marriage look like to you? A deal? A fling? You can say divorce off the top of your head. How many times do you repeat it in your head before you get so good at it? Huh?”

Touching his cold eyes, I unconsciously backed away, my heart aching. “It’s you who wrote the divorce papers. Divorce is what you keep hinting at me. Either way, you’re stuck with Olivia, and I feel guilty about Hank. In that case, it’s better for both of us if we just… separate!”

I did not know why I became so calm at such a time, and could even speak so calmly of the entanglements that were pressing within me.

Maybe it was something I’d been burying all these years. Maybe I just thought it was okay to just split up.

We both clearly knew the helplessness and misgivings in each other’s hearts, and no matter what, we couldn’t achieve mutual understanding. In that case, separation was the best option.

“Better for both of us?” His dark eyes glistened with a chill, and his lips curled sarcastically, “Better for you. The person you thought you had said goodbye to forever is suddenly seen again in a crowd. The heart you were trying to compromise starts to stir. What you have in your heart is not guilt, it’s regret. Now that you see him, you’re tempted.”

He sneered. “My responsibility to Olivia? How ridiculous! When I was trying to make you feel safe, Clara, you were thinking of getting rid of me. Well done.”

I made no reply to his sharp remarks. Whatever he said, it didn’t matter to me now.

I looked at him faintly. Compared with his anger, I was quite calm. “Dennis, let’s take care of ourselves!”

I didn’t want to argue with him. I didn’t even know how. I couldn’t tell if I was wrong in this relationship, or if he was being overly critical.

So didn’t want to argue with him. Grandma said that if two people loved each other, no matter how much misunderstanding or disagreement they had, they could forgive and tolerate each other. Maybe we didn’t love each other enough, so we couldn’t forgive and tolerate each other.

I turned to leave, but he caught me, and he held me in his arms. He pushed me up against the table and kissed me down, like he was taking it out on me.

His strong and domineering let me resist from the heart. I turned away from him and raised my hand to push him away.

But men and women had different strength, my little strength for him was simply insignificant. He put his hand on my waist and squeezed it so hard that it hurt.

His free hand held my head and forced me to conform to his kiss.

I was so sick that I raised my hand to push him away, but he bit me so hard that I felt terrible pain.

“Dennis, let go! I don’t want it!”

He sneered, “We are husband and wife. Why can’t we do what a husband and wife should do? What, you don’t want to do it with me because you want to do it with Hank? What is a dead man worth thinking about?”

“Bang!” I slapped him almost without thinking, and my heart was filled with nausea and pain.

He stopped abruptly, his face like a cirrus cloud before a downpour, and the strong chill made me shiver.

I expected him to hit me or push me to the ground in anger, but he didn’t.

He raised his hand, grabbed my jaw, gave me a very rude bite on my lip, and then kissed me almost madly.

I yelled, “Dennis, I don’t want it, I don’t want it, just let me go!”

He sneered. “When did you want it? When do you need it? Huh?”

My mind went blank and I was on the verge of fainting when pain spread through my body.

I didn’t fight. And I couldn’t fight myself.