Only now
Only now
My tears won’t stop falling. The memories of what had occurred to me resurfaced. I recall the ones who abused and molested me. When the baby abruptly kicked me in the tummy, I closed my eyes even more. It was as if he knew I was weeping and wanted me to calm down.
Someone held on to both of my shoulders. Because of the darkness, I couldn’t see his face. He doesn’t make a move, like if he’s waiting for me to calm down. I now wipe the tears from my eyes and cheeks while holding my heart. He can just call my name since I will go if he asks nicely; why should I be dragged? I became enraged as soon as he spoke.
“W-what is the problem?” His voice trailed off because of the sobs I made. Of course, he didn’t know the reason why I was like this. How could he know if he was one of the reasons why all this happened to me?
I shoved him and then recovered from my sobbing. I marched away instantly, but he chased me. I didn’t go to the door because I didn’t want them to inquire what was wrong with me or why I was sobbing.
He grabbed my hand once more, but I shook it. What else does he require? We already have a good life — may he be happy in his life! I’m hoping he won’t annoy me anymore!
When he embraced me from behind, I came to a halt. I couldn’t move my hands because my feet were so stiff. When he caressed my large belly, I exclaimed. He touched it, and the warmth of his palm penetrated me and my baby.
But I wasn’t taken in by what he did. I yanked his hand away from me and threw him away. I shouldn’t be doing this since my body is already stressed, and who knows what will happen to my baby if I continue. I keep my tummy supported because I don’t want to get in trouble.
“Can that stop Andrius? Fix yourself! I don’t want to be called mistress because of what you are doing!” I raised my voice because of what he did. I don’t often use my tone like this but he seems to be overdoing it? What did he think? Nothing has happened in recent months?
“Where did you go? Why do you only show now?”
He approached me again, but I raised my hand to stop him. I touched my forehead as if stressed. If he hadn’t stopped, he would have tasted a slap on me. I am happy with my life! I hope he’s like that too! I would repeat that to myself so I wouldn’t forget and not carry his tricks on me.
“I was looking for you!” Because of his shout, I backed away. I hold my mouth gaping now. Why do I still seem to be at fault?
“Why do you seem to be venting your anger on me? I didn’t tell you to look for me. Did I tell you? Have I scared or threatened you? Weren’t you the first to thew me? Don’t pretend that you are the victim here, Andrius!” I’m still calm because I don’t want this conversation to escalate. If we just shout, nothing will happen. There must be another person with an open mind. NôvelD(ram)a.ôrg owns this content.
But he didn’t add anything to my answer. I smiled, but it was as if a small needle had sunk into my heart. These needles are here again. They go with the butterflies in my stomach. It was like dragonflies and butterflies were playing with my child.
I shook my head at Andrius as if disappointed while he still stared hard at me as if he had done nothing wrong. That’s your mistake Andrius, you don’t know how to be gentle. Gone are the days when I gave you my heart. Maybe it knows you as the former owner of it. I believe it will also learn to know Stanley.
“I can’t imagine how painful it is for your wife to see you hugging another woman while she watches.” I saw Beatrice in the dark as she stared at us. The face was shocked and scared. When I said that, Andrius didn’t even move. He didn’t look surprised.
“I thought for a few months, the Andrius I knew would be different. I made a mistake. You are still selfish, greedy, and careless, Andrius. Don’t come near me again.” I shot him a shuddering look before passing.
My eyes appear to be fine as well, so I’m confident they won’t notice my tears. I spotted Stanley just after I passed through the darkness. I noticed him peering into the fountain. I hid behind their towering trees, which were not too ancient to look at. I braced myself to startle him as he approached.
“BOO!” He sat on the floor as a result of what I did with his heart. I couldn’t stop laughing because of his amusing expression. He rose and wiped the dirt from the back of his jeans as he realized who had shocked him.
“Silly!” He was already chuckling, but we had to stop when we heard a yell from where Andrius and I had been conversing earlier. Stanley was about to approach, but I stopped him.
“That couple is fighting; let’s not get involved,” I remarked, but we didn’t leave our positions to listen to them.
Only cricket could be heard, so their every pronunciation of the words was clear.
“IT’S YOUR FAULT WHY YOU’RE LIKE THAT NOW!” That was Beatrice. There were sobs in every word she said, but it was still understandable.
“YOU ARE TO BLAME FOR WHY I HAVE BEEN LIKE THIS!” said Andrius. I don’t comprehend what they’re saying because I’m not sure what they’re talking about, but I know it’s because of what Andrius is doing.
“FINE! GO SEE CAROLINE! KNEEL IN FRONT OF HER! DO YOU BELIEVE SHE WILL ACKNOWLEDGE YOU? SHE WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN RAPED IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU! I CAN’T
EVEN LIVE IN YOUR HOUSE! IF YOU DID NOT THROW HER OUT YOU COULD’VE AVOIDED WHAT HAPPENED! YOU CAN’T EVEN GIVE ME ONE STEP AT THE GATE!”
My eyes widened, and my body stiffened. How did she know that? All I know is that Stanley has erased all possible evidence. Stanley held me by the shoulder to calm me down.
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” After that question, there was no further noise. We could no longer hear even simple breathing.
“Let’s go.” Stanley invited me in and I did nothing but follow.
How did Beatrice find out about me?