Trepidation
Sofie’s POV
I winked an eye open as I surreptitiously cocked my head sideways, to see Roman spraying his cologne all over himself.
In spite of myself, especially the anxiety that has been blossoming within me since yesterday, my lips curved upward in a smile as I watched him.
The handsome, grey-eyed, Italian man that stole my heart, the man who his mere existence brought great happiness to me, above all, the man who would never be mine.
The last thought wiped the smile off my face as I yanked myself back to reality. I watched him grab his briefcase and turn toward me, which made me instantly flap my eyes shut.
I held my breath as he walked toward the bed and crouched down in front of my face. I tried not to inhale the camwood tinged with white musk scent of his cologne as I grabbed fistfuls of the blanket.
He mumbled something in Italian, I wasn’t well versed in the language, so I couldn’t comprehend what he had said. Then, he did something that almost made me betray my cover and jump out of bed; he placed a kiss on my forehead before exiting the room.
What the hell had just happened?
I sprang up from bed into a sitting position as I touched the site where Roman’s lips had tenderly caressed, feeling my cheeks heat up.
I wondered if that was the first time he had done such or if it was an habitual action of his. The thought made me forget about my miserable reality for a while, as I dared to entertain myself with the ridiculous imagination that Roman was in love with me.
Crazy, right?
But it was his fault anyway, why was he confusing me so much?
It was at that moment my stomach decided to whirl aggressively, and invoke the nausea I thought had completely disappeared, which sent me sprinting to the bathroom and retching my guts out.
I exhaled heavily as I returned my toothbrush to its holder after brushing my teeth to rid my mouth of the rancid odor of puke.
My gaze travelled lower to the drawer where I had hidden the pregnancy test kits and I felt goosebumps envelop me.
“There’s no need to fret, Sofie. You are not pregnant, okay? You are only taking this test for formalities, nothing more.” I reassured my reflection and nodded before retrieving the packet of test kits.
I followed the instructions on the sachet, peed on the sticks; I used the five kits at once to get a more accurate result, turned it to face downward and set the timer to five minutes.
I folded my arms across my chest as I waited, while nervously tapping my foot on the ground.
Soon, the time was up and I sighed heavily as I darted my reflection a fearful stare before turning the test sticks upward.
Three out of the five test sticks had two visible lines on them while the other two had dim but slightly noticeable lines on them.
I knew at that moment that I was done for.
My breath got stuck in my throat as my hands tremored with extreme agitation. I shook my head fervently like a person possessed by a demon as if somehow that would erase the vivid lines that were staring back at me.
I felt like they were silently mocking my predicament.
“No, no, no. This can’t be happening to me, it just can’t. How could this happen? After all the pills I swallowed, how can a child be growing inside me?” I rambled on as I clutched my stomach with tears of despair tinged with ire cascading down my cheeks.
A child wasn’t part of the agreement between Roman and I.
What would happen to this baby, whose existence wasn’t expected at all?
What sort of misfortune was this?
I had to call Amy, she always knew what to do. My mind was clearly not in the right place at that moment and I didn’t want to make a stupid decision that’d only worsen things in the future.
Retrieving my phone from the nightstand, I placed a call to her but I was directed to voicemail.
“Not now, Amy. Please not now.” I whispered as I dialed her number and was unfortunately redirected to voicemail yet again for the umpteenth time.
“When you get this message, please call me immediately. I really need your help, Amy. I’m so scared, what do I do?” I tearfully spoke into the phone before hitting send.
I couldn’t call Katie, she would totally judge me if I told her that my relationship with Roman was a lie. I needed to tell someone who would understand my plight and need to do what I did. No one other than Amy was in the best position for that.
I couldn’t sit still, so I paced the room. I had to do something, I had to tell someone about this as soon as possible before I ran mad.
Roman.
Yes, why hadn’t I thought of this? I would tell Roman, after all, he was also responsible for this.
And if he didn’t want the baby, I’d just disappear from his life to raise my child far away from him.
Even though the pregnancy was sudden, I couldn’t bring myself to think of abortion, that was murder.
I couldn’t get rid of something that was half me and half him. It just wasn’t possible.
I quickly flung on a presentable outfit, wrapped the test kits in a plastic bag before putting it in my purse before grabbing my wallet and phone.
Luckily, Melissa and the maids were busy cooking in the kitchen, so they didn’t notice me sneak past them which I was thankful for.
“Are you going somewhere, madam?” Antonio’s voice wafted into my ears as I stepped on the threshold of the entrance area.
Fuck.
I turned to face him with a feigned grin, “Yeah. Something urgent came up. I’ll take a cab, so you don’t need to ask the driver to come over.”
“Are you sure you can manage, madam?”
“Yes, I am. Thanks.” I muttered before ambling out of the living room and out of the mansion.
Luck was on my side, and soon, a cab screeched down to a halt in front of me.
“GV group.” I panted as I got into the cab.
The driver nodded before steering the car onto the road. My chest throbbed with anxiety as my heart slammed heavily against my ribs.
After a long, torturous hour, the cab halted in front of the glass, mammoth building of Roman’s company which had letters ‘G’ and ‘V’ sculpted at its crest.
I made to walk into the building but a uniformed guard stopped me from entering, “Excuse me, young lady. Where do you think you’re going?” He asked as he mockingly sized me up.
“I need to see the president of this company.” I said and he scoffed.
“Do you think he’s someone you can easily see? First of all, do you even have an appointment with him to begin with?”
Right, I had forgotten how big companies like these operated. It was always impossible to get in without an appointment.
“No, but I can call him right now.” I said and the man laughed jeeringly.
“Right, you sure can.” He taunted.
I sneered at him before fishing out my phone from my purse. As I made to dial Roman’s number, I felt a shadow loom beside me and the guard bowed to it.
I heaved a sigh or relief when I saw who it was, “Nathan.” I muttered.
“Good day, Miss Sofie. Did something happen?” He asked and I shook my head in negation.
“No, I’m here to pay Roman a surprise visit.” I fibbed, and he nodded, although he seemed skeptical of my utterance.
“She’s with me,” He said to the guard who nodded and once again bowed to him, “I will take you to him then.”
“Alright, thank you.” I said as we stepped into an elevator.
The ride was silent like I had expected, and after a couple of minutes, the elevator hummed to a stop and we got out.
“His office is at the end of this wing.” He motioned rightward.
“Thank you so much.” I said, and he waved it off.
“It’s fine, ma’am.”
“I’ll be on my way now.” I informed and he nodded before I scurried to Roman’s office.Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.
I inhaled deeply before knocking twice on the door. When he didn’t answer the third time, I decided to usher myself in.
I expected Roman to display a wide range of reactions at my impromptu visit but I definitely didn’t expect to find him kissing a strange woman, right in the middle of his office.