Love You Can’t Say

I was stunned and felt his tone was strange, so I couldn’t help looking at him, “You have a crush on someone, right? Who?”

“Even if I like someone, I can’t be with him that quickly, can I?”

Who was she? Were you dating now? Since when? How did you meet?

He was speechless. The light turned green. He started the car and looked at me, “As a woman, why do you like gossiping so much?”

“I like to gossip because I’m a woman. If I were a man, why would I ask so many questions?”

“You’ll see,” he said with a cough.

Then I stopped asking more questions.

When I got back to Newton Town, Alex wanted to take me to the doctor, but I didn’t want to. Who wanted to be told you were sick all day?

So, after talking to him for a while, he finally gave in and took me back to YT Apartment instead of Diana’s place.

We went to another floor. Carrying a suitcase, he said as he stepped into the elevator, “This house is not as big as the T villas over there, but it’s cozier, which is suitable for Clariana.”

I nodded, feeling indescribably depressed and nervous. He probably saw that I was nervous, so he raised his hand and patted me on the shoulder, saying, “Take it easy, Clariana is very sweet and easy to get along with!”

I nodded, but still nervous.

By the door, my palms were sweaty. He rang the doorbell, and it was Luis, bottle in hand and apron on.

I froze for a moment and felt something indescribable in my heart. When he saw me, he looked very calm and said, “Well, come in. Dinner is ready.”

Alex looked at me and said, “Go wash your hands and check on the kid later, and then come back for dinner.”

He took my suitcase, put it in a room, and said, “Stay with us for a while.”

I paid no attention to what he said. I was all about Clariana. I followed Luis into the baby’s room. The room was all pink, including the crib and mosquito net, and everything for the baby, all neatly arranged.

I couldn’t help but marvel at how two men with a baby can keep everything so clean and tidy.

Clariana probably had just woke up. She lay in her crib and looked around with eyes as big as grapes.

She giggled when she saw someone approaching. She was only three months old. She was tiny and she was all soft.

Luis saw the smile on my face as I looked at the baby and said, “You can feed her!”

He gave me his bottle, smiled and went out.

I held the bottle, and I froze for a long time. There was something in my heart that I couldn’t describe. The most beautiful thing in the world was to welcome life. Because with a new life, love and hope could continue.

I didn’t know where Hank buried the baby. I never had the courage to look at that child, let alone think about it.

When I saw Clariana, tears began to run down my face. The mixture of happiness and pain took my breath away.

Alex came in. As he saw me in tears, he said, “She’s going to be your child. Treat her right.”

I nodded, feeling very much like crying. The baby was too small for me to hold.

I put the bottle to her mouth. She was smart enough to suck it in her mouth.

“Clariana was born prematurely and fed mostly milk powder, so she was much smaller than the others.” Alex said with a sigh.

I paused, almost instinctively thinking of myself. Hank took me to the hospital, and when the baby was taken out, I had milk.

It just stopped because there was no child to suck and no prolactin.

Thinking of this, I turned to Alex and said, “Can you go to the hospital with me tomorrow?”

He was stunned, “So you agreed to see the doctor?”

I shook my head. “No, I want to see a gynecologist. I want to ask the doctor if lactation is possible after the baby is delivered for four months. I want to see what they can do to try.”

He was startled, “Are you trying to…”

I nodded. “Clariana is still young. Besides, I had just had a baby, and had milk, but because there was no child to suck, so prolactin was no longer secreted, and it stopped naturally. If I ask the doctor now, there might be something I can do.”

This was all about Clariana, and I didn’t expect Alex to suddenly blush. He looked at me and said, “Clara, do you even think of me as a man?”

I froze for a moment, puzzled and said, “What’s wrong?”

He got speechless, “Do you think it’s appropriate to talk to me about something so private?”

I shrugged, “Why not? I’m an old woman who’s had a baby. What else can you expect from me? I think you’re being nice to Luis. Why can’t I discuss this with you?”Content held by NôvelDrama.Org.

He froze for a few seconds, looked at me and said, “How did you know about him and me?”

“I guessed!” I said after a pause, “I thought it was just a coincidence. But the few times I’ve seen you, he’s been with you, and every time his eyes have been on you. I’m not stupid. I can see that.”

He paused. “You don’t think we’re strange, do you?”

“Why should I think you’re strange? The world is a strange place. The high number of men and women matching up doesn’t mean it is the way it should be. Being gay is not wrong. You just have to feel happy. It’s just a little different. It’s not a big deal.”

He looked at me and his eyes were red. There was silence for a moment, then he threw a hug around me and said, “Thank you, Clara!”

I sighed, “It’s nothing! Live well for yourself.”

In other people’s eyes, I was the lucky one in my marriage to Dennis. How many women dreamed of marrying the man they loved, who was excellent in every way. But only I knew how I felt.

Comparatively speaking, peace and harmony were the most important.

That night, I stayed in YT Apartment and I slept so well that I didn’t even notice when Clariana was crying at midnight.

The next day, Alex asked me if I had been disturbed by Clariana’s crying the night before.

I shook my head, yawned and said to him, “Remember to take me to the hospital after breakfast.”

He glanced at me. “Forget it. It’s been four months. It can’t just come.”

In the kitchen, Luis had already made breakfast. He was exceptionally handsome in a bespoke suit. When Alex and I came out together, he said, “I have to go to the office later. We are quite busy with several projects recently. You have to take care of Clariana.”