Kissing The Wind

I squinted my eyes on his face. I was right. There was a streak of tears on his cheeks and I was dumbfounded. It was my first time to see a man crying because of me.

I looked away. “Stop blabbering. It’s not your obligation to free my father from prison nor to provide for my tuition. But don’t worry. I’ll see it as a loan and I’ll pay you in the future with the interest –”

“I’m not charging you.” He combed his hair using his hand and scoffed. “Your father was not a criminal. Lisa’s father, the duke, wanted to put him to prison because your father was an upright man. They charged him fraud and planted fake evidences. Lisa was betrothed to me since childhood and they wanted us to wed when time come. I took that chance to seal a deal with the duke and my parents.” His gaze on me soften. “I want to stay here to protect you but I can’t do it when I’m gone.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because Sydnee,” he whispered and caressed my cheek. “When I first saw you, I fell in love with you. And I will always be in love with you.”

I bit my lower lip, hard, because I did not believe his words.© 2024 Nôv/el/Dram/a.Org.

Anthony was waiting for me at the parking lot. His shoulder sank, brows knotted, and eyes were glazed. He looked tired. And I was tired too. He drove the car with nothing but silence between us.

My mind always played that scene in the classroom where Rogie had his confession, which I did not believe. He was a trickster in the beginning. Why should I believe my bully?

But I was plagued by the idea that his tears were true. The feeling of warm liquids falling on my skin was still fresh in my mind. I was torn whether to believe him or not. But years of being a bullied had taught me to be wary of a bully’s words.

“You’re silent. Is everything okay?” Anthony asked.

I blinked and my mind came back inside the car. I hastily nodded and looked outside the window. The streetlights were on and so were the lights in each establishments. My hand reached for the button and I watched as the glass rolled down to hide under the window sill. My face welcomed the fresh air plunging inside the car. A small smile tugged the side of my lips.

If Rogie was telling the truth, then Lisa will be out of the picture. I would not be wary when I’m outside the academy. That made me glad but not entirely, because whenever I think of Rogie moving away too, there was a pang in my chest. It made me confuse with my feelings towards him who stole my first kiss.

Not long after, we arrived in Anthony’s house. I hopped out of the car and followed Anthony who was walking mindlessly towards the entrance. He did not utter a word and he just sat on the sofa and started doing some work. I walked towards the kitchen to cook for our dinner. After sometime, I called Anthony to eat the foods I cooked for the two of us.

“You’re quite a good cook.” He grinned at me. “You’ll be a good wife someday.”

My smile was faltered. “I don’t have plan to spend my days inside the house, cleaning and taking care of babies.”

Anthony laughed. Sparks erupted from his eyes as he stared at me. Gone was the tired expression he wore earlier. “Tell me when you’re ready to be someone’s wife.”

I shook my head.

After dinner, Anthony volunteered to wash the dishes and I did not object because there were some assignments that I needed to work on. I was absent for a number of days and the teachers gave me loads to do. The bad thing was I need to pass the outputs within the week.

And while I was engrossed in solving math problems, I did not notice Anthony who sat before me. He did not bother me and just started working on his laptop.

When I finished the things I need to do in that night, Anthony had finished his work too. I invited him to play chess. He agreed. But I noticed that his favorite word was checkmate.

“Rogie is leaving,” I said to break the silence hovering above us.

He hummed and moved his pawns. “In two days,” he said.

“You knew?”

“The boy told me last week.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

He shot a glance at me. “His family will continue sponsoring you until college.”

My brows knotted in annoyance. “At the expense of their son’s happiness.” I tasted bitterness in my tone.

He looked down on his pawns and then to me. “Are you sad that Rogie is leaving?” he asked.

I did not answer his question but it left me in turmoil for a night. I stared at the darkness inside the room and it did not let me sleep peacefully.

When morning came, I found myself looking for Rogie in the hallway. I found him laughing while pouring red liquid to Lisa’s head. No one bothered to stop him from bullying his fiancee.

I, too, was left dumbfounded and rooted in the spot. Lisa looked like she was about to cry but the girl held her head high. Not so like me because if I were in Lisa’s shoes, I would looked on the floor and hoped that the bullying will stop soon.

Rogie caught me staring at his work — Lisa’s body coated with red liquid that I thought was ketchup. I stared back at him, wondering if he would walk closer to me and drag me out of the scene like he always did for the past few months.

But he did not. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders and walked away. I gaped in shock. Seconds passed and whispers started to sorround me. I saw how Lisa smirked at my shocked face. I closed my mouth and regained my composure.

I looked on the floor and walked passed by her. She did not stop me. I heard more whispers from the students nearby who saw how Rogie ignored me. Some of them even laughed at me. And I found myself running towards the classroom.

Inside was not better also. Rogie continued to ignore my presence. He did not glance at me like he always does. Something was wrong.

When lunchtime came, I tried to call after him in the hallway. But he did not stop nor look over his shoulder. It was like he did not hear me shouting his name at all. I huffed in annoyance. What’s wrong with him? I started to doubt his confession yesterday. Maybe he was toying with me and he was laughing in secret because of how easy it was for him to fool me. I scoffed.

I stopped following him in the hallway and held my knees. I was panting hard when a group of students started to sorround me with their taunting smirk. My brows knotted and I stood straight.

“Who are you?” I asked, cautious in my tone. Their faces were not familiar.

I yelped when one of them pushed me back. I stumbled and my butt slammed on the floor. My eyes closed tightly in pain and I hissed under my breath. Another group of bullies? Great.

“Poor girl. No one will protect you now,” they chanted as they stepped away from me.

I squinted my eyes as I watched them walked away. Who were those students? I stood carefully, aware of the whispers and jeers around me. I walked back to the classroom and I did not even try to eat lunch in the canteen. I had enough humiliation for that day. Thankfully, Isa gave me biscuits that I secretly ate while listening to the lecturer.

But when afternoon came, just fifteen minutes before dismissal, Rogie dragged me out of the classroom. The teacher did not bother to stop him since the class had ended and we’re just waiting for the school bell to ring.

He dragged me to the alley where he had my second kiss and where I first slapped him for being a jerk. He turned to face me and combed back his hair using his hand. I noticed that his eyes were blazing in anger but his voice was gentle when he said, “Don’t follow me.”

“I want to t-talk with you.” I gulped hard when I felt my heart start to pound faster against my chest.

“Then talk.”

But when I tried to recall what I wanted to tell him, my mind went blank. I forgot what to say.

“What now, Sydnee?” Rogie asked.

I looked away and my mind looked for some words to say or to ask. I swallowed and took a deep breathe. “Can… can you s-stay?” I felt my cheek burned red but I did not mind it at all.

Rogie seemed shock but he regained his composure and cleared his throat. “Do you want me to stay?” he asked, voice was calm.

I closed my eyes. “I don’t know.”

We stayed there, alone, for a few minutes before Rogie reached for my jaw and guided it to face him. My gaze locked with his and he smiled. “Do you remember the picture I slid to your hand last Christmas party?”

I blinked in confusion. My mind wandered back in time when he slid a picture of my family in my hand. I nodded.

His smile grew wide. “You might not remember me, Sydnee. But we spent our childhood together and we promised to marry each other.”

My brows knotted. “I didn’t remember,” I said. But I wondered if I said those words in curiosity or I just blabbered because I did not believe him.

He put a finger on my lips to shut me up. “It doesn’t matter.” He sighed. “My family wants me to move with Lisa into the duke’s place. But I did not want it, so they made a deal with me. If I break it, they will stop the benefits you’re enjoying.”

“You’re not happy with Lisa. I saw you bullying her.”

He shrugged his shoulders. A chuckle escaped from his lips. “Lisa is a bully. I only give her a taste of her medicine.”

“The duke might not be happy.”

“Oh no, love. The duke wants me to discipline his daughter.”

I shook my head in disbelief. But Rogie stared at me that made me still. “What?” I asked, aware of the sudden change in his mood.

“Someone pushed you in the hallway and I don’t like it.”

“I’m used to being pushed around.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I should —”

“And now you’re affected?” I laughed, taunting him that earned me knotted brows from him. “You might forget how you bully me some time ago.”

He smile sheepishly. “About that… I’m sorry, love. I was pissed that you don’t remember me and I don’t like you being weak. I want you to fight.”

“By adding your name to my bully list?” I mocked. “You should realize how ironic that is.”

He sighed.