Fifty Shades of Grey (book 1+ 2)

Chapter 17

I pretend to read the article, all the time meeting his steady gray gaze, searching the photo for some

clue as to why he's not the man for me - his own words to me. And it's suddenly, blindingly obvious.

He's too gloriously good-looking. We are poles apart and from two very different worlds. I have a vision

of myself as Icarus flying too close to the sun and crashing and burning as a result. His words make

sense. He's not the man for me.

This is what he meant, and it makes his rejection easier to accept... almost. I can live with this. I

understand.

"Very good Kate," I manage. "I'm going to study." I am not going to think about him again for now, I vow

to myself, and opening my revision notes, I start to read.

It's only when I'm in bed, trying to sleep, that I allow my thoughts to drift through my strange morning. I

keep coming back to the 'I don't do the girlfriend thing' quote, and I'm angry that I didn't pounce on this

information sooner, when I was in his arms mentally begging him with every fiber of my being to kiss

me. He'd said it there and then. He didn't want me as a girlfriend. I turn on to my side. Idly, I wonder if

perhaps he's celibateI close my eyes and begin to drift. Maybe he's saving himself. Well not for you, my

sleepy subconscious has a final swipe at me before unleashing itself on my dreams.

And that night, I dream of gray eyes, leafy patterns in milk, and I'm running through dark places with

eerie strip lighting, and I don't know if I'm running toward something or away from it... it's just not clear.

I put my pen down. Finished. My final exam is over. I feel the Cheshire cat grin spread over my face.

It's probably the first time all week that I've smiled. It's Friday, and we shall be celebrating tonight, really

celebrating. I might even get drunk! I've never been drunk before. I glance across the sports hall at

Kate, and she's still scribbling furiously, five minutes to the end. This is it, the end of my academic

career. I shall never have to sit in rows of anxious, isolated students again. Inside I'm doing graceful

cartwheels around my head, knowing full well that's the only place I can do graceful cartwheels. Kate

stops writing and puts her pen down. She glances across at me, and I catch her Cheshire cat smile too.

We head back to our apartment together in her Mercedes, refusing to discuss our final paper. Kate is

more concerned about what she's going to wear to the bar this evening. I am busily fishing around in

my purse for my keys.

"Ana, there's a package for you." Kate is standing on the steps up to the front door holding a brown

paper parcel. Odd. I haven't ordered anything from Amazon recently.

Kate gives me the parcel and takes my keys to open the front door. It's addressed to Miss Anastasia

Steele. There's no sender's address or name. Perhaps it's from my mom or Ray.

"It's probably from my folks." Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.

"Open it!" Kate is excited as she heads into the kitchen for our 'Exams are finished hurrah

Champagne'.

I open the parcel, and inside I find a half leather box containing three seemingly identi-cal old cloth-

covered books in mint condition and a plain white card. Written on one side, in black ink in neat cursive

handwriting, is:

I recognize the quote from Tess. I am stunned by the irony as I've just spent three hours writing about

the novels of Thomas Hardy in my final examination. Perhaps there is no irony... perhaps it's deliberate.

I inspect the books closely, three volumes of Tess of the D'Urbervilles. I open the front cover. Written in

an old typeface on the front plate is:

'London: Jack R. Osgood, McIlvaine and Co., 1891.'

Holy shit - they are first editions. They must be worth a fortune, and I know immediately who's sent

them. Kate is at my shoulder gazing at the books. She picks up the card.

"First Editions," I whisper.

"No." Kate's eyes are wide with disbelief. "Grey?"

I nod.

"Can't think of anyone else."

"What does this card mean?"

"I have no idea. I think it's a warning - honestly he keeps warning me off. I have no idea why. It's not

like I'm beating his door down." I frown.

"I know you don't want to talk about him, Ana, but he's seriously into you. Warnings or no."

I have not let myself dwell on Christian Grey for the past week. Okay... so his gray eyes are still

haunting my dreams, and I know it will take an eternity to expunge the feel of his arms around me and

his wonderful fragrance from my brain. Why has he sent me this?

He told me that I wasn't for him.

"I've found one Tess first edition for sale in New York at $14,000. But yours looks in much better

condition. They must have cost more." Kate is consulting her good friend Google.

"This quote - Tess says it to her mother after Alec D'Urberville has had his wicked way with her."

"I know," muses Kate. "What is he trying to say?"

"I don't know, and I don't care. I can't accept these from him. I'll send them back with an equally baffling

quote from some obscure part of the book."

"The bit where Angel Clare says f**k off?" Kate asks with a completely straight face.

"Yes, that bit." I giggle. I love Kate, she's so loyal and supportive. I repack the books and leave them on

the dining table. Kate hands me a glass of champagne.

"To the end of exams and our new life in Seattle," she grins.

"To the end of exams, our new life in Seattle, and excellent results." We clink glasses and drink.

The bar is loud and hectic, full of soon to be graduates out to get trashed. Jose joins us. He won't

graduate for another year, but he's in the mood to party and gets us into the spirit of our newfound

freedom by buying a pitcher of margaritas for us all. As I down my fifth, I know this is not a good idea

on top of the champagne.

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