Divorce To Restart: Vengeful Ex-Wife Strikes Back!

Chapter 73 Nina’s Real FearsBelonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

NINA’S HOME, NEW YORK. Nina suddenly shifted away from Xander; gathering herself together took her a brief second. Xander leaned into the couch, staring at her in amusement. “Are you about to give another hormone excuse?” There was a trail of teasing in his words. She shut her eyes tightly, letting out a soft chuckle. “Can we not capitalize on it, please.” Xander raised both hands in surrender. “Alright, mama. Whatever you want. So what did you discuss with Carla?” She leaned further into the couch, stretching her legs out. “Nothing. I mainly asked her why I should go to dinner with your mum.” He laughed lightly. “You are so blunt. So what have you decided?” “Well, to not be rude, I will go to the dinner, and you will have to come with me to get a dress.” “I will gladly do that. Do you want to go now?” “Yes, please. And I would like something nice to eat. My baby wants some.” Nina mused, rubbing gently at her belly. “Okay then. Let me change quickly.” They had breakfast first before heading to the wall. It took them a while to get a fitting and classy dress due to Nina’s condition. But they eventually found one that was perfect for her. Nina appeared like an excited child when it clung to her perfectly. With the shopping bag in his hand, Xander held Nina protectively with the other. He stopped abruptly at a baby store, his eyes glinting in amusement. “Look, Nina. It’s a baby store. I just realized I haven’t gotten the baby anything. Have you completed the list? How about the gender? The last time I picked up baby things was with my mum, ages ago. Should be fun this time, too.” Xander rambled on, showing how delighted he was. Nina went stiff in his hand. Her silence made him turn to look at her. “What’s wrong?” He asked. She snatched her hand away from him and hurried towards the car, not pausing even when Xander called out to her. Nina slammed the car door shut, trying hard to catch her breath. Xander joined her in no time, putting his hand on her back to relax her. “It’s okay, calm down.” He said repeatedly. Two minutes later, with a half-drunk water bottle, Nina became calmer. She held his gaze with an apologetic look in her eyes. “I am sorry.” She mumbled. “Sorry for what? Why exactly are you sorry, Nina? What happened just now has me super perplexed. Did I say something wrong?” Nina inhaled deeply, throwing her head to the back. “It’s not exactly what you said; it concerns my thoughts.” “Nina, it’s just baby things. Do I not have a place to do that?” He asked, feeling bad that he must have done something wrong. “No, that is not it.” “Then say something!” Xander knew he sounded pushing, but he wanted to know. She kept mute, just staring blankly at the dashboard. Xander swallowed with difficulty and attempted to start the car. Nina reached for his hand, holding it firmly. “Please, Xan. Don’t be so angry. Fine, I will tell you.” She huffed. “I haven’t gotten any baby things, and I don’t know what gender the child is.” Xander furrowed his brows. “What? Why is that?” “I-” She paused. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. I am so sorry for bugging you.” “I think it is due time to talk about it. I just couldn’t whenever I visited the stores or hospital. I refrain from getting excited. What if something goes wrong? What if I do not have the strength to push? What would happen if I became the worst parent ever to exist? What if I can’t care for the both of us? What if my presence traumatizes the child? These thoughts keep roaming my head, making me want to wait. Wait until the day comes and see who makes it out alive.” “Nina!” Xander drawled. “Why would you even think of something like that? You will make an amazing mother, and you know it.” She shook her head vigorously, her heart thumping faster than usual. She wants to talk about it even though it feels hard. “No, Xander. I do not know. What if I become a bad mother? What if seeing the child reminds me of Asher, and I hate them? What is the need for me to get all excited for no reason when I am not certain what would become of the relationship we would share?” Her eyes watered, and the tears rolled down her face continuously. “I am so scared, Xander. The closer the day gets, the more concerned I become. Not attaching myself might make it easy to let go if anything happens. I don’t want to be disappointed all over again. I don’t think I can bear the pain any longer. If this hurts me, I will lose my mind, Xander. I just can’t anymore.” Nina bowed her head, sobbing quietly. Xander’s heart went out to her. He should have known many things would be attached to her pain. He felt guilty for coming off too hard on her. “Hey, baby.” He cooed, raising her jaw with a comforting hand. “Why do you have to worry your pretty head with that much negativity? You will make an amazing mother because you are an amazing person. All of the things that happened to you are not your fault. They are just bad people. Why should your life come to a fold because of people like that? I have had my fair share of life, but I would be damned if I put my life on hold for them. And you are doing amazingly well for yourself. Brilliant and strong, any child would be over the moon to have someone like you as a mother. Do not deprive yourself and the poor child of people that don’t exist.” “But what if they left me because I wasn’t worth being with?” Xander gasped dramatically. “Those fools? Please, baby, they aren’t worth a pinch of your salt. Trust me. Listen…” He mumbled, reaching for her hands. “Because of your presence in my life, Nina, I have been happier. You don’t know how much light you bring wherever you go, mama. And everyone else can bear me witness. It wouldn’t have been easy to scale through that hard hurdle if you weren’t such a good person.” He smiled softly. ” I don’t want to keep talking so you wouldn’t think I am trying hard to impress you. I want you to know that I will always be here for you, no matter what. It’s a hill I plan to die on anyway.” He grinned at his last word. Nina chuckled softly. “You always seem to know what to say. Thank you so much, Xander.” He leaned forward, kissing her forehead. “I will always be here. Anytime you want me to. So, would you like to check around the store? It’s not so bad, I promise.” There was hesitation in her voice. “I don’t think I want to do that now.” “It won’t hurt. I promise we don’t have to buy anything. Just feel the space.” “You promise?” Nina sounded unsure. Pouring her heart out doesn’t mean the fear has disappeared. “Promise,” Xander affirmed. However, he didn’t have to keep up with his words. Nina broke it herself, buying several fancy toys that caught her eye. Xander felt glad his trick had worked. And it taught him what next he had to do.