A Lifetime With You by Athrhteera

Alena

Most of my childhood memories were lost among the midst of growing up because I was always in survival mode, filtering off the bad ones. Nobody knew how hard it was to sneak around when my parents weren't looking just to catch a glimpse of what was happening. Blood. Guns and knives.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

Those things were common in this family. Papa-my father tried to keep me away from the life he was born into because he said it was too dangerous. Imagine the look on my face when I turned fifteen and he immediately started teaching me on how to hold a gun to someone's head.

The damn irony.

What was he even thinking? Shielding me from harm's way but as soon as I was fifteen, he showed me everything. The things he was hiding me from, the business talks at night and his men who somehow ended up disappearing. Only they didn't disappear. They were just six feet under.

"In this world, there is only survival." His words were loud and clear, tattooed in my mind.

Now, don't get me wrong. He was the perfect father to his three children and a loving husband to Mama but to the Bratva, he was a merciless leader. They feared him but the most important thing of all, they respected him.

Papa did everything to make us happy. He taught us the things any father would, like to ride a bike, setting up camp and how to drive. He was there, he was present in our lives, and he gave us everything he had.

It was just, sometimes, I had to remove the uneasiness of knowing he was a killer.

A cold-blooded killer.

Alexei, my brother, was three years older than me. The minute he turned eighteen, every single responsibility was given to him whether he liked it or not, but I think, he enjoyed the power he had and the women who threw themselves at him.

He was like Papa, always worrying about the family and our safety because he was scared that one day, someone might put a bullet in his head and left the rest of us to fend for ourselves.

Then again, Papa wanted nothing more than a strong family. He taught us how to hunt, how to run and how to kill. He wanted us to defend ourselves if things ever went wrong.

Remember how he said there is only survival in this world? Well, he made sure we never forgot who we were. We weren't any ordinary family, and we would never be. As much as I tried to deny the fact, we were Bratva itself.

Most of my girlfriends grew up becoming socialites.

The shop-till-you-drop kind of socialites. The mingling-with-rich-men kind of socialites. The always-wearing-high-heels kind of socialites. The perfect kind of socialites.

So, imagine the look on Papa and Mama's faces when I told them I wanted to become a doctor. An orthopedic, even.

Well, Mama was okay with it because she always convinced me to follow my heart. She knew the future was in my hands even though Papa was trying to kill my future plans. It took me awhile to finally convince him that I was never going to be like my friends. I was never going to shop every day, drink wine and socialize my night away because despite being in a family where killing was normal, I actually wanted to save lives.

That was when the persuading started.

No, not from me but from him.

I had always wanted a dog since I was ten, but he never wanted one. He wasn't very fond of furry animals, so I was surprised when I found myself waking up to him holding a golden retriever puppy. The golden retriever puppy even had a red bowtie around his neck. Did that hold me back from wanting to go to medical school? No.

The persuading just kept going on and on.

After the 'puppy surprise', he brought home a pink Aston Martin the next day. A Vanquish Zagato Aston Martin. I told him to stop wasting his money because nothing was going to change my mind.

Oh boy, it didn't stop there. A bouquet of sunflowers every morning on my bed. Flight tickets for a trip to Maldives. New designer handbags.

I was spoilt in different ways, and I took the opportunity to enjoy everything.

"You'd be drowning in books, Alena!" He said, pacing the room back and forth before pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I don't mind. I've always loved learning,"

"I've given you everything, my love. You don't have to struggle for anything in your life," he walked closer towards me as he grabbed a hold of my hand.

Mama smiled as she grabbed Papa's hands, "Your daughter has passion."

"She doesn't have to go through all of the trouble." He shook his head.

"Papa, growing up, you taught me to always stand up for myself. You taught me to be strong and independent. You also taught me to have dreams and be passionate in the things I love. I'm becoming the woman you taught me to be," I said. "You're a Bratva princess." He stood tall.

Mama kept caressing his arm while occasionally glancing at me.

"I don't want to have anything to do with the mafia, Papa. You know that."

"You were born into it, whether you like it or not."

"Well, I don't like it!" I walked away, sighing.

Papa's green eyes stared into mine. I knew he was holding back his anger because he felt as if I was never grateful for the things, he provided for us. All the love, the attention and the never ending wants. I had broken his heart into two.

"I'm leaving to medical school. If you don't want to support me in any way, I'll just get a part-time job. I'd do whatever it takes for me to achieve my dreams," I muttered as my vision blurred with tears.

Then, I pushed the doors and stormed out of the room-bumping into Alexei, who was eavesdropping in the hallway.

Our eyes collided for a few seconds.

I knew he felt sorry for me. I knew he wanted to give me what I wanted. We were always close because of the little age-gap we had. I guess we just understood each other better but he was in no position to offer me the things I wanted. So, he kept his distance and watched me leave.

To my surprise, Papa ended up paying for everything.

Mama probably persuaded him to do so, and he was never the man to deny her. Mama won his heart from the moment they first met. They were endless lovers, not just husband and wife. Their relationship was what I wanted in the future a beautiful marriage.

Well, Papa also assigned a bodyguard for me Igor. He kept his distance whenever I saw him around but most of the time, he was out of sight. He was lurking in the shadows, always keeping an eye on me, and probably reported everything to Papa but it didn't bother me much because I got what I wanted. I got the chance to pursue my dreams.

Igor was there for me when the days were bad. Sometimes, the nights were bad, too.

We talked, occasionally.

Other than Igor keeping an eye on me, Mama was always asking whether things were going great. She kept up with my daily life in university. Papa never called and honestly, I never blamed him. I was being the ungrateful daughter and it was best to keep my distance,

too.

We grew apart but I knew he asked Mama about me. Whenever I saw Igor, I knew he was keeping me safe by having him around.

"Do you have children, Igor?" I asked, as I took a bite of my sandwich.

We were both sitting on a bench in the park, enjoying the warm breeze. It was my regular routine to go on an afternoon walk and Igor would always join me. I knew he secretly enjoyed our walks, too but he never talked much.

"I have a son." He replied, looking around he was never off-guard, always checking around if we would somehow be ambushed or attacked.

He was trained that way. Besides, he was assigned to protect his boss' daughter.

"How old is he?"

"He just turned ten."

"Don't you miss him?"

"All the time."

"You should spend time with him,"

"He doesn't know I exist," he replied, and it didn't take me long to meet his eyes.

"What? Why not?"

"It's to keep him safe. Enemies wouldn't find out about our families, and we wouldn't be a target if anything happens. Besides, he doesn't have to know that his father is a criminal."

The conversation ended just like that. My mind drifted away to Papa, making me wonder if he was forced to accept this life, too. He was born into it, just like me. Maybe if he could, he would've wanted a different life. A different possibility for his children. Yet, he was responsible to the Bratva and his men.

Some things had to be sacrificed.

Time had passed and here I was, at the age of thirty, in my final year of residency.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror before sighing. My eyes were red because the last time I slept was probably twenty-six hours ago. My cheekbones were hollow, and my lips were slightly chapped from being dehydrated.

"Fuck!" Someone cursed, making me turn.

Lily, my colleague stepped out of the cubicle and stood beside me. Her eyes were red, but I assumed it wasn't from the lack of sleep, she just started her shift but probably from all the crying the restroom. She tried to fix her hair by running her fingers through them before tying the blonde strands into a bun.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"I'm just having a bad day."

"Is it John?"

"Shit. You see right through me, don't you? is it the eyes? Do I look like I've been crying?" She asked, turning to look at me as she blinked a few times as if that was going to make her eyebags any less visible.

"What eyes? I couldn't tell a thing." My lips curved into a smile.

"Alena ..."

"You always cry about John. If you're unhappy, you don't have to put up with him."

"I'm not unhappy. I just don't know why he chose to not understand about my situation. He wants me to be there for him all the time when it's pretty obvious, I can't. He's a freelancer and he has a lot of free time. I don't." "Have you tried talking to him?"

"Oh, I've tried the whole 'communication is key' thing."

"I wish you two can figure things out. You can't keep crying in the restroom."

Lily smiled, shaking her head as he applied lip balm on her lips. "Don't worry about me, Alena. I'll be fine. You, on the other hand, should really get some rest."

"I'm off tomorrow."

"Spending the rest of your day off in bed?"

"Sleeping my sorrows away." I joked, leaving the restroom, and heading down the hospital hallway.

I glanced down at my wristwatch, seeing that I have one last patient before I leave.

Honestly, if I were given the chance to look back and meet my younger self, I never thought she'd make it this far. The whole journey to become a doctor was harder than it looked. It was worth the struggle and the sleepless nights, but it was exhausting.

I knocked on the door before stepping in, seeing my patient's face light up as soon as he saw me. He was always like that. Some nurses said he was looking forward to meeting me even though he was only admitted last week.

I had my fair share of flirtatious patients. They were sometimes funny.

"There she is, my favorite doctor."

"Mr. Williams, you haven't touched your food."

"I told you many times. Just call me Adam."

"Right... Adam, how did you sleep last night?" One of the nurses walked in, taking a pen and a notepad in case she needed to jolt down anything.

"I slept okay. Thanks to the painkillers you prescribed me."

"That's good. Your swelling went down a lot, too. You can discharge soon." I smiled, standing next to him, and further inspecting his shoulder.

Mr. Williams-Adam, was around my age and not older than thirty-five. He fell off the stairs at his house and ended up with a fractured shoulder.

As I was inspecting his shoulder, he was busy staring into my eyes. The smile he had on his face was entertaining, as if he was a teenager who had a crush on an older woman. He never seemed to bother me much during his stay here, but he kept flirting and I completely ignored him. Besides, I was never interested in dating my patients or dating anyone in particular.

"Has anyone ever told you how mesmerizing your eyes?"

Our eyes met, "I received compliments about them."

"Well, you deserve them. You're absolutely beautiful."

"They are, aren't they?" I smiled, leaning back before checking the machine on his right, reading his heartbeat.

"Are you ... perhaps, single?"

"No, I hate to disappoint you but I'm not." The lie was as smooth as butter. It was a habit to lie to patients about my marital status if they started to get a bit hopeful. I had been asked out on dates and I had politely declined each one of them. The easiest escape was to tell them I was married.

One would be too crazy to bother a married woman.

"I don't see a ring on your finger." He glanced down at my hands, "Can I take you out on a date?"

The attending nurse beside me shifted, shaking her head as she pretended not to hear anything. She wanted to laugh, and it was obvious she was holding it back, but I kept my poker face on, ignoring his attempts.

"I don't wear my ring when I'm working. It's an expensive piece." I replied.

"That's right... Dr. Orlov's husband would always come and pick her up from work." My attending nurse, Karla, added and occasionally glancing at my direction a few times. She was quite close to me, and she knew how many patients had try to take me out on a date. "I see." Adam cleared his throat, leaning back.

"If that's everything, I'll draft out a plan for your recovery. I'll see you next week," Karla and I walked out, closing the door behind us.

Karla chuckled, holding the notepad close to her chest. "That would be tenth this week?"

"Twentieth."

"You must be exhausted from all the compliments, Alena."

"I feed off compliments." I joked and we laughed.

"Well, your shift's over. You had a long one. Please, get some rest."

"I'll see you next week, Karla."

As soon as I reached my car in the basement, I stepped inside and let out a long sigh. I leaned back in my seat after starting the engine.

All I could think of at the moment was to go home. That was until my phone started ringing, making me look down to see it was my brother. Alexei.

"Alena," he said on the other line.

"To what do I owe this pleasure of you calling me?"

He chuckled, "I'm doing great. Thank you for asking."

"How are you, Alyosha?"

"I'm fine. I just got home from beating someone to death,"

I frowned, clearing my throat. "I do not need to know that."

"Too much information?"

"Why are you calling me?" I asked.

"Come on, I haven't talked to you in a while. How are things going at work?"

"We don't need the small talk. Just get straight to the point, please."

Alexei sighed, clearly annoyed. I could imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose a habit he inherited from Papa. He was probably leaning on his seat and planning out his next plan, probably he was going to beat someone else to death. Then again, he had taken Papa's position in the Bratva.

"I just want to remind you about tonight." He spoke.

"Tonight? What about tonight?"

"The charity gala. You'd be expected to join, or Papa would have my head."

"Why would he have your head? You're the Pakhan, now. Not him."

"When it comes to you, I'm a mere slave. Besides, you made a deal with him when you wanted to go into medical school in case you forgot." He continued to talk, "You must attend every single event that involves our family. You are still a Bratva princess, Alena." I cursed under my breath in Russian. "I hate it when you remind me that."

"You've made it this far... what makes tonight any different?"

"I'm just tired. I had a long shift and all I could think of is to go have a long bath and sleep."

"Just be there tonight, please? I don't want him to get mad at you. Fuck, I don't want him to get mad at me. Besides, Ana and I haven't seen you in months. She misses you."

Ana or Anastasia, our sister. The youngest in the family and most loved. She was eight when I started to move out of the house and furthered my studies. We didn't have a lot of time together but whenever I came home during the holidays or my free time, we'd bond. Alexei and I would run to the ends of the earth for her.

Now, she was already a woman, thriving at the age of twenty.

"You miss me, too?"

He kept quiet for a couple of seconds, "Severely."

"How is she, by the way?" I asked, about Ana.

"Our baby sister is doing well. She has a boyfriend now,"

"Does Papa know?"

"They met a few times."

"And he's okay with it?"

"Surprisingly. I did run a background check on him and he's clean. Ana seems to be very happy ever since he came around,"

"And you?"

"What about me?"

"Who's your girlfriend of the week?"

He laughed, "I don't date, Alena. I have my fun with them and that's it."

"Karma is going to come back at you, Alyosha. I know it."

"If I'm still alive for karma to come get me. You better make sure to attend tonight or I'll be on the news tomorrow. I mean it, Alena."

"Yeah, I'll be there. Send me the address and everything,"

"Sent. Oh, and Alena?"

"What else?"

""Don't be late."

Then, he hung up the phone.

My brother, Alexei, took over as Pakhan after Papa retired. Now, Papa and Mama spent most of their time travelling the world. They wanted to enjoy the world while they still can. Alexei was left to take care of everything. Every single responsibility was on his shoulders. Papa expected anything but failure from him.

He was never going to disappoint, anyway.

I had to be there tonight. Besides, I haven't seen Ana and I missed her.